A legacy, and a reason to continue on... Happy New Year.

So Where to go from here... That's the true question now isn't it? Just like the one before me... I'm not "safe", I'm not "nice". And while the logic from that one does not run as strong in me; I make up for it in spirit, I assure you. Although I can say with true assurance as well that I was not even half as intelligent as her. I'm reaching out to anyone, out anywhere, if anyone recognizes these words, and holds them to be true; please, I implore you, please respond. I want nothing more than for someone, someone who may need me out there, for that someone to find me. My mother would say I'm being melodramatic, that I already know, but I believe in fate and destiny, although we have a certain amount of control, there are also a lot of things that are completely OUT of our control. God forgive me, I'm STILL paying my Cosmic Karma debt. Who knows maybe I'll be paying it for the rest of my life, but my mother taught me how to beat the odds, and that's what I intend to do- or at the very least end up on the more even side. I've learned from my mistakes over and over and over. Took me a dam while but I learned, and I continue to learn, mother taught me to never give up on learning, there is always something new to learn. I'm a complete basket case don't get me wrong and I know my mother possessed more common sense than I could ever hope to touch; but even still, even now, I feel the things she taught me shining through like gold. Reading her blogs, have been a privilege. I have felt HONORED, that she left a legacy to me and my brother. It brings me joy, not sadness... Total joy. I can rejoice in the fact that my mother was quick as a whip, cool as a cucumber, and sharp as a tack all at once, and did what she had to until the end, learned from her mistakes and never wanted to stop teaching others and learning herself in ALL aspects of her life. But it's no longer about her now... It's about me now. It's about how I'm gonna pull myself up by my bootstraps and make it on my own. Stay tuned... Or don't... I could care less. These writings are for me, and to leave my legacy in a way. I'll never live up to her, but it was never a competition. Love you momma forever. The rest of her supporters... Thank you. Thank you for reading what she put out into the world. She meant every dam word. I know that for a fact. -TheGeraldineFibbers.